You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
