If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
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