What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Randomize
