you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
