jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
