We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Watching her eat just hurts me
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Randomize
