he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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