Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize