I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
