we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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