About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
