There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
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