anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
third nipple confirmed
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
