He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
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