I'm really into asian looking animals
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Randomize
