The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
