Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Randomize
