i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
She made me pour olive oil on her.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
