I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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