is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
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Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
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my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
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