you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
