The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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