hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
