well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
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