So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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