the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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