One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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