Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I think I died a long time ago.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
accomplished twins. life is a go
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
