is your mom at the bar?
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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