is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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