thus making me awesome and them whores
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
