How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Randomize
