First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
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