Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
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