please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
