I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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