I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
