I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
