i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Randomize
