I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
