I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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