You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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