if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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