I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize