you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Randomize
