let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Randomize
