I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Randomize
