I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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