I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
