Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
