I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
He shit in the fireplace
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
