Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
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