THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
