Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
