I'm jealous of your bromance
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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