i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
