why didn't you poke me back
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
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He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
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Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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