You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
