i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I understand Curling. That high.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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