You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Why is your signature on my underwear?
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i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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