just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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